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Pardon

Is it nicer to pardon someone or to stay away and feel exhausted all your life? Is forgiving better than reminding every slightest thing? A burden you can’t let go and a relation that is broke. It’s been a while since I haven’t spoken to someone whom I believe was there for me since I came to this world “my dad”.

I can’t describe my alcoholic father as a decent man, even when I want to.

A man can’t be a father when intoxication is his only child, a woman can’t be a mother, when she doesn’t live for her child.

I being a single kid always seen my mother getting whacked by that phantom. He knows no bounds when he intoxicates, as he then has the liberty to whack a woman he walked down the aisle with.

All the shattering glass have the same sound, all those invective have the same meaning too. He says every commodity that had made our bungalow home has been bought by him, so when he destroy any of them we are nobody to point a finger on him.

Maybe he is right, I thought when I was ignorant “my dad pays every ounce of our bills” we can’t even withstand without him. But now when I see him eradicating everything about our home, I feel sinful. He picks a fight with my mom out of nowhere and starts accusing her. Like she needs him to survive in this world.

‘‘IRONIC’’ HOW A MAN WHO CAN’T EVEN STAND STILL AFTER DRINKING ALCOHOL THINKS THAT A WOMAN LIKE MY MOM COULD GET DOMINATED BY HIM.

Then my teenage happened. Seeing my mother picking up those broken glasses after getting hit by them, and seeing her bleeding hands were awful. An alcohol consumer is the weakest creature on earth, but when he is the one who gave you life is the nastiest one “I yelled”.

Thinking my voice would reach my dad’s ears next to the lobby. He was punching my mom again but this time I wanted to speak up what I felt was right.

Why does my mom pick up those shattered glass pieces, when you broke them? Is she your maid? “I added”.

He looked at me annoyingly and howled “Go inside your room”.

I stood still, looking at him knowing that he was unstable. Who are you to tell me where to go? “This time I was much confident.” He came closer to me grabbed my hands and said this is how you talk to your elders?

I got numb for a second and replied: “Dad is this how you behave with your wife?”

Apparently, I knew he wouldn’t understand anything. So I took my mom to her room leaving all those shattered glass pieces on the floor. After coming to her room she confessed: “Kid let me go and clean that mess, or else he’ll get hurt”.

And what was that drunken man doing all his time after you both got married? I queried. Let those chunks get inside of him and then he’ll never shatter those glasses again.

And what if he died? Child,a drunken father is much better than a died one.

I’m with him because of you.I don’t need him, nor do I love him but I care about him because he is the father of my gem. He loves you even when he is intoxicated, he never crashes on you. Maybe, he isn’t a very good husband but he is the best father in this world for sure.

I was stunned as hearing these words from a lady who have been listening to that awful man from so long, just so we can get his love and attention she has been craving from so long,heartbreaking.

Why does women always protects their man, even when all he does is reminisce them of all the horrible things?

Maybe, he cherished me. Maybe, he didn’t.But all I knew back then was a father can’t be a father when he doesn’t appreciate the fellow gender and treat them equal

Whether she is a homemaker or not, whether she does some job or not.

She is contributing crucial moments of her life with you and is working hard. She always pardons you for all those sins you’ve been doing from so long, just because of the love and care she wished you’ll give her someday.

So respect.

-Riya Shah

By Ray

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