A centre where you can improve somebody, change somebody and can bring the best out of them, right? Rehabilitation Centre. But when somebody who’s broken comes to you asking for help, so that they can be alright. Is it worth getting damages for? When I said “Rehabilitation centre” all that came to my mind was the image of that person who came to my life a couple of years before, believing I can rehab him from all his past terrible experiences. When I saw that person I wanted to help him. Secure him from everything that could shatter him more. But who knew that would cost me, myself.
He talked to me about his past, like they were mine to heard. Every bit of his misery stuck my soul like a knife that he had gone through and survived. I cried with him listening to everything he uttered. Maybe, I was attached to him because of his soul window. He kept me standing there until I was a part of his experiences, I stayed. I wanted to help him, like a mother who wants her child to walk without falling I stood there. So that I could be right beside him when he felt those aches. I wanted to be a cure for his bruises.
He kept sobbing in my shoulders for months and months. I fell in love with his purity and morality. I never saw someone struggling for validity. I wanted him to live, his sorrow became mine. I started hating everybody who hurt him. And that’s when I became his rehabilitation centre. All my life started to become awful and sad. Eternally wasn’t my word I could descant. I became so pessimistic in life. And then one fine day I understood that I’m becoming all that he is. I adapted his way of talking, his words his life everything.
The thing when struck me kept me awake for 3fine days. Thoughts strangled me every minute and then I became all numb. I wanted to be the change in his life, why I’m becoming like the one. That day I stepped him out of my house, asked him why he cries over that ugly past memory when he can make his beautiful present one. He smiled at me and asked, “would you join me while creating them.”
I then realized that I or any person in a matter of the fact isn’t somebody’s rehab. Even the person who’s suffering or has suffered something terrible, you don’t need someone. You need yourself before it. No lover, nothing. Just your own company. Cause when you attach yourself with a person and then make them see your scrapes, they get hurt and somehow they get compassion toward you. That’s how human works. But that doesn’t mean they are in love or something. They are just being a nice human. And when you talk about your prior bruises all you are doing is making them feel how disastrous they were. That’s awful.
I feel happy that now your life is going well. You don’t have to stick to that past memory and if you wanna then, please stay away for anybody and everybody. You are toxic to them just because of your past life. Maybe you are a great person, but stay away because you don’t need their love, you need self-love.