When I wake up in the night I feel nobody is there for me in this world. Like a vacant house with nothing but sorrow in it. They say I am beautiful, what would I do with a garden when there is no-one inside to cherish you. Drowning in the ocean I never want to come back. My sorrows and guilt trips are enough to make me feel bad. Along with it when nobody is trying to love you forgetting about all your scars and bruises you realize that you aren’t rare but trash and the feeling of being trash is pathetic. Why is it so awful to be unfulfilled by their love? Why the love that you gave with your heart wholly more than they could ask for isn’t enough for them?
I know that I am a beautiful soul inside out and when someone says that I am destroying their life it’s a bit bothering. How can the moon destroy the night, when it only strives to brighten it? It can’t. Negativity is in your heart, not in the other person.
So I try to be fine when it wasn’t easy for me. Life is unusual and it’s okay to be me. But I want to tell you some answers to your questions that every time you try to figure out but you couldn’t. It’s okay I would love to answer them for you. If you want to give me your opinion about certain things your comments are welcomed on my screen. Below are some answers that I believe in.
So why does everyone try to put you down every time?
The only reason for this is that you give them yourself like a gift. Simply, when you are in love you give them all you have. Your happiness, your guilt, your sorrows and everything that is you but what you don’t understand is humans are an empty vessel. When you put things in it, they secure them till the time they feel like securing it but the time they think that they can use it against you. They do use it! Relying on someone is breaking a promise to yourself. Promise that your self-respect is yours and nobody has the right to smash it and when you give your key to someone your treasure isn’t safe my love.
With the highest quality bricks in the world. Build yourself. When I say these words I mean your bricks should be so strong that nobody could break you.
All I want to do in life is to build an empire out of myself and to make my insecurities my power. Because when you possess something you should be thankful to God for giving it to you. Even when some of them are your weakness. You are you because of them and trust me when I say that you are “Gold” you are 24caratgold. You are made of everything you possess.
Howl for yourself
The only priority in your life should be you. You are a tree the only thing you should be doing is letting everybody breathe, taking the best care of yourself and looking grand and beautiful while doing all of it. There is nothing wrong when you stand for yourself. Everybody does that for themselves. You are an Alpha female who at times let things be, the way others want to but never put herself down because of them. Show them who you are. The Wolf.
Have you ever heard about the Alpha female? That’s the only animal I ever was fascinated by. When I first heard about it, I felt the power within. They don’t run in packs and they are the leaders, not the followers. Always make sure that the inside animal in you should be a wolf. Protect your family, get your work done, never underestimate who you and never think anybody can make you work in a circus. You ain’t a Joker. Remember a wolf doesn’t play in a circus in front of people like a tiger does. They know nobody can be their leader and they have self-respect that shouldn’t be pointed fingers at.
Always be your boss, your worshipper and your lover. You are a Goddess because you ain’t trying to be someone you are not and you scream power. These scars of heartbreaks will one-day disappear. I know it will take time but one day it will and that day you will become a force that no boy could ever mess with. I want you to be that force. Because of the way, it’s hurting to me I never want you to suffer in it. When the sunshine, I want you to shine brighter and with the moonlight be the fighter. Even when the demon appears don’t ever hide your sword. You have the potential to kill them all.
I do feel used when my heart gets disturbed but I am the magic who wouldn’t live in this burden. So I’ll change it and become more power cause I know there are nicer human beings. Sometimes life doesn’t give you compatible humans enough because it tests your patience. And trust me that’s okay. When you meet somebody who isn’t similar, you don’t adapt their temperament but understand it. There is no similar soul almighty has made, someday you have to adjust and try to comprehend.