He leaned over my shoulder and said “you are my rehabilitation centre”. A place I never wanted to be, but I need it the most. I felt a little disheartening as I always wanted to be his luxury. The person he would brag about in front of a thousand people. A girl that would be his home, not a prison. He came toward my lap and said “can you please put your hand in my head and massage it a little?”
Can I tell you the truth? I yearned for him to sleep there, relax and then thinking about why I was always a good option for him. A place where nobody else could come and a human that was his for life. I didn’t confess anything, but a lullaby that my mother sang for me when I was 16. He slept like a baby on my lap. His eyes were closed, his cheeks were red and his lips wanting everything out of his system. The bad and the good. I could see that he wanted to set free now as his troubles were bigger than consuming alcohol. I could speak anything so I left.
Leaving my rehab open. As I always wanted to be his home and there was nothing I could do about it. But I waited. I waited for him to come and sit in my rehab, I treated him like other patients but the way he crossed my mind all I wanted was to be his habit. I wanted to his intoxication and rehab all at once.
As he leaned towards my shoulder and said “you are my rehab centre”.