I saw him going right in front of me, numb I was remembering everything he taught while leaving. There are plenty of people in the world to guide, you are an art, remain wise my child. Forever I thought would he stay, I remember telling him, how sometimes I am so tired of being this way. Why would he loved me then was my question to him whenever I failed? Nothing kinder he said he saw than those decisions I’ve made. A mother I’ve been to a child when I was 9, how can I not take care of people, a mother picture I’ve tried.
Now that I want to feel him, I close my eyes. No, I don’t see him wrapped in his shawl, talking about all the beauty that I am. I see him waking me up from the dream of losing him. Losing your child can be terrifying, you know what is more terrifying it’s when you knew you’ll lose him someday so you try to keep his memories safe with you and not opening them after he left. Just you fear one day those memories will leave too.
What if I lose him twice?