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Voiced out

When I asked him all the questions I always wanted to he replied with a nonsense emoticon of smiling. I felt hurt as I was expecting him to reply with all the lovely words dipped in fresh honey and garnished with chocolates. I read my messages again thinking I would have asked a wrong question. I felt like a vacant place asking for him to make me occupied. Was it so much to ask for?

I have a supernatural power of knowing things. At first, when I got vibes about there is something fishing and I need to make sure to check it out and try to reverse that was going good. But sometimes when he is messing up around and I can’t help him that time I try not to think about it. But my nerves squeeze and make my blood flow stops. Do you know how it feels when you want to live that moment but your body resist? That too for a person who doesn’t care. It feels like a forest burning itself because the trees are getting chopped by somebody else.

Being insecure is a different thing. It’s a form of not letting the other person live. I was doing the contrary of this. Thinking about the leaving, I was breathing. My heartbeat was making a rhyme I never heard of it before. Like a drummer sitting on my heart with his sticks. Ever beat arose my tears of anxiety, for that, I was prepared. Every day I fight for the truth that he is hiding behind the scenes. Am I, not the one who he should be answerable to?

damn, again I voiced out something that I shouldn’t. As this is the best relationship I’ve been in- “She said with a teardrop she wore down”.

-Riya Shah

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Poetry, writing, blogging isn’t something I do for my hobby. It’s my life. I have never achieved something that I can be proud of. When I blog on this site I feel like home. I feel like a 3year old kid running towards something so fast that it goes away from her. When I started this site I never knew how to write a poem without rhyming. It was like a mat and a bat coming after 1line is a poem. It took me 2years to come this far. Trust me what hurts me the most is I’m just a few steps ahead of where I came from.

Today I want to write my heart, sorry if you feel this annoying. I am annoying because there is an ambitious girl hidden inside me who don’t know how to quit, she just knows how to grind. I am not a perfect writer but all I am is quirky and fascinated by life. I didn’t know where my life would take me. When somebody asks me where do you see yourself in the next five years, all I could say is in a bench writing poems. That is the amount of love I have for poetry. I have no dream, no future expectations but a few months before I got only 100views in a week. That was sad. It took me in a zone of depression. I don’t know why our community doesn’t support us. Are we not family? A dwelling where we want to go? Is appreciating someone so hard?

No right, I am not saying I want views or something. I want appreciation like every other writer. Every writer should be appreciated if not by the viewers, they should be appreciated by their fellow writers. Because I being a writer knows it’s hard to concentrate on something when it doesn’t love you back. So go read every blog if you are writing in this platform. Give something back. I am not saying comment on anything which is utter nonsense but at least make time to comment on a valuable post. This isn’t about me it’s about every other folk writer who is underrated.

Sorry if I hurt anybody out there. Comment if you agree.

-Riya Shah (blessed)