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Foremost

I haven’t met you before, or did I?

I haven’t seen you before, but should I?

I haven’t felt your hands on my shivering essence,

But I knew somehow I’ve felt your presence.

In most of my trembling nights,

In my ambience, you are like those fireflies.

Stuck between happening and ends,

You are my every “how it went”?

Like those earrings that I’ve kept in my drawer,

Hiding away from the gazes of my own.

As if I’ll see them, I will lose my sameness,

I’ll be fine “i say”, in my defence.

But fine isn’t fine enough,

Unfortunately, I’ve been dying for us.

I wish I could wear that red dress,

Covered with my hoodies and shirts,

I vow in front of the universe,

you’ll remain my first.

The first, soft bow to the clouds,

My umbrella in the downfall of doubts.

My yelling, uttering profanity, yells and shouts

My every day and forever mystical blackouts.

-Riya Shah